Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Life is just a dream

Have you ever felt like your life is just a dream? That reality will come and smack you in the face and you can take a big sigh of relief? Well that's how I feel like. Apart of me still wants to believe that I am back in Japan hanging with my friends. That part is waiting for me to wake up thousands of miles out of the country and that's it. Another part of me knows this isn't true, but still, I wish it was.

My friends are back in Japan, and it's hard getting ahold of them because of the time difference. But it feels like I can just hop a train and go visit them. Or at least walk out my front door and I can see them. And what's even more weird is that complete strangers look like people I know from a distance. And when I get close to them, they turn into someone else. I know it's just my mind playing tricks on me, but it's still creepy.

Three more weeks and I get to see Mike. I have been having these really awful dreams lately about him though. And sometimes it feels so weird. I hate it most of the time. But it's starting to bleed into reality. I get mad so easily at the mere thought of him, and it's only because every night those dreams are there. At least I am still dreaming about him. I guess that's one thing. Like one that I had was him not wanting to talk to me once he got home because he wants to party and sleep around without having a conscience. Even though I know it's not true, at least the last part with him sleeping around, I get mad when I don't hear from him. And it's not being mad at him. I just get mad. I think it might be the hormones or being pregnant or what.

My cell phone did a complete one eighty the other day. I lost the last one, got it replaced with the same number. And now I have ALL the numbers in my contacts that I had before plus the ones that I added. Creepy. Maybe it's just a happy christmas early from the cell phone company?

Time seems to be slipping by. I can swear that I just got here and now it's been almost three months. Three months of being by myself. I hate the navy for that. But at least I got about three and a half more months to go and I won't be pregnant anymore. I got to end this because even now I am getting even more mad. I can't help it though.

No comments:

Post a Comment