Saturday, April 24, 2010

Some thoughts

A month has almost passed. I am surprised that time is flying by so quickly. Before I know it, I'll be heading back to work for the last time. I don't think that I can leave my baby for so long though. It's going to be hard. Even if it's for a few days of eight hour work, I don't want to leave him.

So I saw physical proof that I am to get out six months early. More than one way I am glad of it. I know that I can't raise a family and stay in the military. Not happening. I can barely go to the store to get food and what not to survive by myself, how am I to take care of my newborn child with my husband stationed so far away from me?

In another way I am a little bit sad. I know that for all the military is BS, I will still miss it. Not the treat you like children and act like your dirt, but the friends that I made and the experiences that I have acquired, that's what I am going to miss. I am who I am because I decided to join. It wasn't the military that changed me, but I do have to say that if it wasn't for me going in, I wouldn't have changed and I would've still been the same old me. God, was I pathetic?

I surprisingly got in touch with two old friends that I haven't heard from in awhile. And what's the most irratating is both of them, never meeting the other one, said the same exact thing. That it's surprising that I am a mom now and they could never see me being one. Wow. I guess I wasn't the poster child for a family right?

Then again I have been contimpilating a lot about the decisions I have made. Not, should I have done this, but what would have happened if I never did this type of deal. I can't even fathom it. But one million and one things could have happened instead and I wouldn't be here right now.

A couple of weeks ago this female that I used to work with back in Japan claimed that anyone who got pregnant on sea duty is irrisponsible. How can you say something like that? Life happens. She's the one that pointed out that women have been having babies a lot longer than the military even being around. I wonder what made her change her mind on her own views?

Do you believe that you can know someone and not really know them? I mean you can know them for years and years and not truly know who they are? I think so.

Well, this post is going on for sometime now. These are just some thoughts that I have been pondering...

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