Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Underweight and Me

About three months ago I went to the doctor for a routine check up. I really don't know the true reason why I went. I got some birth control out of the deal, but the main reason is forgotten. Any ways, I made mention of my weight to the doctor. I knew, just by looking at myself, that I was under weight. Oh wait I remember now, I had an ear infection! Any ways, I was concerned about my weight.

Ever since having Donnie, I lost weight like there was no tomorrow. In two weeks I dropped my baby weight. At first, I wasn't concerned about it. Hell, I was excited about it. How many women do you know that can drop that much weight in that little bit of time? Well, I didn't stop loosing weight.

And there about half way through, I got tired of eating. I was forcing myself to eat so much to try and keep my weight, that I got disgusted with eating. And it's not only that, but I also lost my appetite. I still don't know how that happened. It might be from me getting sick of eating so much. I don't know.

My sister clued me in on me being skin and bones. Then one of my friends came over and remarked about how sickly thin I looked. So naturally I brought it up with the doctor. I found out I lost fourteen pounds in six months. I went from 108 to a low 94 with jeans on.

My husband got tired of me asking him all the time if I looked like I was loosing or gaining weight. I got infatuated, and worried, about how thin I looked. He went out and bought me a scale to see how much weight I lost or gained. When I first got on it, I was disappointed. I took of my jeans and shirt, got on the scale, and I was only 95 pounds and some ounces. The next day, I got on the scale with my jeans on, not thinking about it, and it read that I was 97 pounds.

This heartened me a little bit. If I weigh 97 pounds with my jeans on, and 95 without them, then I was at least 92 to 91 pounds when they weighed me. Probably 90 pounds because I had my shoes on too. So it looks like I am on the gaining end of my weight. Which is a good thing!

My secret? I didn't want to try and gorge myself on food like I did before. So I now eat small meals four times a day. I mean small like a bowl of cereal for breakfast, a sandwich for lunch, some fruit in the in between meal if I have any, and my regular intake at dinner. Which before was a couple of bites of every thing on my plate. Now it went up to half a plate of food. Still not good, but making progress.

Also, I am an anemic. Which means my body is lacking in red blood cells and iron. I found out if I ate things with iron in it and took my iron medication, I am not as tired as I used to be. My birth control also has iron in it too, so I am also getting it that way.

Today I took a nap after picking my husband up. This was the first time in several days. But I have been going to bed later at night and waking up early in the morning time. I dreamed that I died. Not oh I'm dead kind of dream, no the actual process of dying. It got me a little worried because I know that there is health risks associated with being under weight.

I looked them up. One is anemia, which I already am. Then there's low blood pressure, osteoporosis, that's bone loss for you, a low immune system, and for women, an irrigular menstrual cycle.

I am just worried that my weight will take another dip, but more dangerous next time. I hate being this skinny. At least you can't see my ribs as much now as before. It's not like I intentionally wanted to loose weight. I also know that people look at me and think that I am anorexic, but that's not true. In a week, I will make another blog and keep track of my weight gain. I am just really worried.

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