I wish that I could explain to you what I feel right now. I wish I can tell you how alone I feel right now. But what's the point? I just learned how truly alone people can get. How truly alone I am. Sorry if I am not all perfect. Sorry if I loose my temper. Sorry if I don't win the best wife award. But how dare you talk shit about me? Do you know even what I went through? What our fights have been? No? Then butt out. I won't even apologize to you if you are reading this.
Do I get in your business? Do I sit there and talk shit about you? You tell me things too, but I don't ever pass judgement on you. I guess I learned how truly alone I really am. I guess Mike is right, you all just kissed my ass to get me here, and now that you have what you want, fuck me right? You don't know where I am coming from.
We're married. Guess what married couples do? FIGHT. Specially when there's stressful stuff happening, like say, moving almost across country. We are getting over it, and used to it, why do you got to act like I'm a bitch? Why don't you just open your eyes and look? And is it any of your business anyways? No? Then but the fuck out. You don't like me, fine, but don't get into my personal business and pass judgement.
There were things said between the both of us over the year that was hurtful. But we are working on it. It would be different if we weren't. But again, it's none of your business what was said, and when.
I just want to say thank you for making me feel so alone in a different state. I guess you are just like my family, I just bought your shit hook line and sinker. Fuck you.
Monday, June 6, 2011
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Passing Attractions, Step Right Up!
I have noticed that we humans, as a whole, cannot have our attention on one thing for very long. If you think about it, look how many times we change our clothes style. I mean what was "fad" in the 70's isn't really in style anymore. Or Facebook.
Before Facebook, there was Myspace. In a way, Facebook ripped off Myspace. After FB got well known, Myspace kind of went down the shitter. And it didn't start there. I remember a site called Bolt. I don't know if you guys remembered, or was ever on it, but back then, it was the shit.
I don't remember if it had a little profile thingy or not, but what it did have was posting to the home page. It was exactly like how Facebook is. I remember going to the library (That's right, when I was living with Grandma I didn't have internet.) and spending my one hour allotment on the computer on that site.
Then came along Myspace. My sister actually got me into it because she found a girl who we went to highschool at Immanuel's profile. I thought it was pretty insane to post pictures of yourself on the site, and leave behind comments and what not.
So insued the Myspace craze. I learned how to write code for the background I wanted, and I wrote blogs on the site, and it was crazy. And now I don't really get on it.
Why? Because of Facebook. I was stationed in Japan, when one of my friend's in Virginia asked me when I was going to get a Facebook. I was kind of trying to keep it old school with myspace, because I didn't want to conform to yet again, another internet site.
In the end though, I relented. The site is pretty cool. Kind of basic, but whatever. It keeps your attention. And then for fear of their site being shut down, they added flash games to the site to hold their audience's attention. Why? Because of a new site called Twitter. So I won't be at all surprised that Facebook will take that walk of shame that Myspace and Bolt already walked.
My point to all this is, mankind gets bored too easy. If you think about it though, it's what helped us where we are at now. Some guy got tired of hitching his horse up to the wagon every time he wanted to go down the street, and invented the car. Another guy got tired of driving for insane long times to go see Aunt Betty in another state away, and invented the airplane.
See? But when it comes to internet sites, that's where we, as a spieces, get dumber. What has Facebook ever accomplish? And any site like that. Not saying that Facebook is some stupid site that won't help us invent the next greatest invention. Just that it's a "fad" thing now. Most likely our children in the future won't even remember/never been on it before.
Anyways, going off subject now, Vampires really do suck. I mean the stories are all rip offs of each other. I mean Count Dracula, he is the most bad ass vampire out there.
He had a harem, didn't give a shit, but was so gentlemanly. Then what happened to that? Ann Rice and Hollywood. They start protraying the vampires as lost souls who can never die. What's worse, is two things. One, they're VAMPIRES. Come on, do you really think that Dracula cared about what he did, what's he doing, and what's he going to do? Hell no. He didn't let that bother him.
But remember the movies/T.V. Interview with the Vampire, and Forever Knight? Just assuming that you HAVE heard of them, the main characters were going through eternity, redeeming themselves. I mean COME ON! Really? If I was Dracula, I would slap the shit out of them both!
And that brings me to my point two on why Vampires suck. It's a big rip off. I know I said that before, but I'll explain what I mean. Okay, so you have Interview with the vampire. It was a major hit, so you know what Hollywood did then? They made Forever Knight. Actually to correct myself, I think Forever Knight came out before Interview did. Anyways, one of them became an instant hit, so they made another cop of the same thing.
Then after that, here came Blade. Now I can't really knock on Blade, well because like Dracula, he was a badass. The only thing that is remotely similar, is the fact that he had feelings. I guess that's the half human part. Anyways, then they dressed up the vampires to suit the teenage girls and the fourty year old virgins and now we have Twilight.
Same gist, the vampire is trying to redeem himself by being good, whining about when he was bad, and seeking self redemption. Except one thing. They FUCKING sparkle. After that became a big hit, hollywood did it again.
The Vampire Diaries. Same thing. Self redemption and yadda yadda yadda. Except they don't sparkle, and you can kill them. Also, not half as annoying. See what I mean though? The same thing, just dressed up in different clothes, with a different name.
If you don't like that, Hollywood just gives the vampire silver hair, a bow, fake ears. What do you get when you add that up? Orlando Bloom...
Wow if you are still reading this, I commend you. This blog is really long.... Applaud yourself.
Before Facebook, there was Myspace. In a way, Facebook ripped off Myspace. After FB got well known, Myspace kind of went down the shitter. And it didn't start there. I remember a site called Bolt. I don't know if you guys remembered, or was ever on it, but back then, it was the shit.
I don't remember if it had a little profile thingy or not, but what it did have was posting to the home page. It was exactly like how Facebook is. I remember going to the library (That's right, when I was living with Grandma I didn't have internet.) and spending my one hour allotment on the computer on that site.
Then came along Myspace. My sister actually got me into it because she found a girl who we went to highschool at Immanuel's profile. I thought it was pretty insane to post pictures of yourself on the site, and leave behind comments and what not.
So insued the Myspace craze. I learned how to write code for the background I wanted, and I wrote blogs on the site, and it was crazy. And now I don't really get on it.
Why? Because of Facebook. I was stationed in Japan, when one of my friend's in Virginia asked me when I was going to get a Facebook. I was kind of trying to keep it old school with myspace, because I didn't want to conform to yet again, another internet site.
In the end though, I relented. The site is pretty cool. Kind of basic, but whatever. It keeps your attention. And then for fear of their site being shut down, they added flash games to the site to hold their audience's attention. Why? Because of a new site called Twitter. So I won't be at all surprised that Facebook will take that walk of shame that Myspace and Bolt already walked.
My point to all this is, mankind gets bored too easy. If you think about it though, it's what helped us where we are at now. Some guy got tired of hitching his horse up to the wagon every time he wanted to go down the street, and invented the car. Another guy got tired of driving for insane long times to go see Aunt Betty in another state away, and invented the airplane.
See? But when it comes to internet sites, that's where we, as a spieces, get dumber. What has Facebook ever accomplish? And any site like that. Not saying that Facebook is some stupid site that won't help us invent the next greatest invention. Just that it's a "fad" thing now. Most likely our children in the future won't even remember/never been on it before.
Anyways, going off subject now, Vampires really do suck. I mean the stories are all rip offs of each other. I mean Count Dracula, he is the most bad ass vampire out there.
He had a harem, didn't give a shit, but was so gentlemanly. Then what happened to that? Ann Rice and Hollywood. They start protraying the vampires as lost souls who can never die. What's worse, is two things. One, they're VAMPIRES. Come on, do you really think that Dracula cared about what he did, what's he doing, and what's he going to do? Hell no. He didn't let that bother him.
But remember the movies/T.V. Interview with the Vampire, and Forever Knight? Just assuming that you HAVE heard of them, the main characters were going through eternity, redeeming themselves. I mean COME ON! Really? If I was Dracula, I would slap the shit out of them both!
And that brings me to my point two on why Vampires suck. It's a big rip off. I know I said that before, but I'll explain what I mean. Okay, so you have Interview with the vampire. It was a major hit, so you know what Hollywood did then? They made Forever Knight. Actually to correct myself, I think Forever Knight came out before Interview did. Anyways, one of them became an instant hit, so they made another cop of the same thing.
Then after that, here came Blade. Now I can't really knock on Blade, well because like Dracula, he was a badass. The only thing that is remotely similar, is the fact that he had feelings. I guess that's the half human part. Anyways, then they dressed up the vampires to suit the teenage girls and the fourty year old virgins and now we have Twilight.
Same gist, the vampire is trying to redeem himself by being good, whining about when he was bad, and seeking self redemption. Except one thing. They FUCKING sparkle. After that became a big hit, hollywood did it again.
The Vampire Diaries. Same thing. Self redemption and yadda yadda yadda. Except they don't sparkle, and you can kill them. Also, not half as annoying. See what I mean though? The same thing, just dressed up in different clothes, with a different name.
If you don't like that, Hollywood just gives the vampire silver hair, a bow, fake ears. What do you get when you add that up? Orlando Bloom...
Wow if you are still reading this, I commend you. This blog is really long.... Applaud yourself.
Saturday, May 14, 2011
Two Weeks Left
We got two weeks left until we have to move out of the apartment. Then after that, we have another couple of days left in California. My husband is flying out to Oklahoma, and I am driving out with my sister in law. There's a part of me that is excited about going. It's just going to me, my sister in law, and the open road. She hasn't been this far west, and she's excited about going too.
Another part of me is depressed that my son and husband is leaving me for three days. This will be the first time that I will be away from my baby for that long. I hope that he won't get too anxious about me going. I know that I am. Maybe I can cover the anxiety for the both of us.
The good thing is, is that my husband will have three days all to him and our son. My husband is hoping that they can become closer during those days. He never really spent a long time alone with our son, and it shows. It took awhile for my son to even be happy about his daddy playing with him. I think because he's always working, and our son isn't used Daddy being around all that much.
Thinking about it though, I can't believe that a year has already came and went. I remember barely moving from San Diego to here, and thinking not this crap hole again. You see, I'm allowed to say it because I come from around here. I never had any intention of coming back again. Except maybe to visit family and that's it.
I am excited about finally starting our lives outside the military. We have been discussing, and making plans about this. Finally, I do not have to worry about my husband when he's at work. It's dangerous work that he does, and I can't help but worry.
Then again, my husband is always calling me a worry wart. That's my specialty I guess. To worry about anything and everything. I can't help it. Too much crap happened in my life to not worry.
I hope that my in laws aren't getting mad or tired of me calling all the time. I have nothing to do, and almost no one to talk too when my husband is gone. So what do I do? I call them. I know my mother in law is thrilled that I call her all the time. She's becoming like a mom to me, I guess.
Mike and I are finally finding each other again. There for a little while everything was kind of rocky. We were fighting more often than not. It was really bad. But now, we are trying to argue, and spend more time with each other. I mean, we are always around each other. It's different though. Being around someone, and spending time with the same person isn't the same.
My aunt told me that the first year of marriage is always the hardest. You never really know how the other person acts behind closed doors, until you start to live with them. And after the first year, things will get better. And they have.
Another part of me is depressed that my son and husband is leaving me for three days. This will be the first time that I will be away from my baby for that long. I hope that he won't get too anxious about me going. I know that I am. Maybe I can cover the anxiety for the both of us.
The good thing is, is that my husband will have three days all to him and our son. My husband is hoping that they can become closer during those days. He never really spent a long time alone with our son, and it shows. It took awhile for my son to even be happy about his daddy playing with him. I think because he's always working, and our son isn't used Daddy being around all that much.
Thinking about it though, I can't believe that a year has already came and went. I remember barely moving from San Diego to here, and thinking not this crap hole again. You see, I'm allowed to say it because I come from around here. I never had any intention of coming back again. Except maybe to visit family and that's it.
I am excited about finally starting our lives outside the military. We have been discussing, and making plans about this. Finally, I do not have to worry about my husband when he's at work. It's dangerous work that he does, and I can't help but worry.
Then again, my husband is always calling me a worry wart. That's my specialty I guess. To worry about anything and everything. I can't help it. Too much crap happened in my life to not worry.
I hope that my in laws aren't getting mad or tired of me calling all the time. I have nothing to do, and almost no one to talk too when my husband is gone. So what do I do? I call them. I know my mother in law is thrilled that I call her all the time. She's becoming like a mom to me, I guess.
Mike and I are finally finding each other again. There for a little while everything was kind of rocky. We were fighting more often than not. It was really bad. But now, we are trying to argue, and spend more time with each other. I mean, we are always around each other. It's different though. Being around someone, and spending time with the same person isn't the same.
My aunt told me that the first year of marriage is always the hardest. You never really know how the other person acts behind closed doors, until you start to live with them. And after the first year, things will get better. And they have.
Thursday, May 5, 2011
Bitch Has A Temper
I know that women should be a little bit of a bitch to succeed any where in life. But it's one thing to be bitchy and be a bitch. The past couple of days is proof of my theory.
So I have a neighbor friend. Every one in the world comes over, it seems. Lately though, she has been having someone she just met staying with her. I really don't care who comes over at her house. Let's face it, it doesn't effect me.
Until recently that is. This bitch has an attitude. Last weekend I went to chill with my neighbor and another friend. I was just minding my own buisness, having a good time. This bitch tells me to leave while standing behind my back. Like if she was scared of me right? Well, I turned around and slammed her. I told her that it wasn't her apartment, and if my neighbor, let's call her K, wanted me to leave, that's when I'll leave. She got pissed off and stormed off. I didn't think anything of it.
The other day, I went over there to smoke a cig with K. The bitch was there. They were watching Marmaduke. Which I have to say is a pretty cute movie. Anyways, she tried claiming that Great Danes only live for five years. I politely corrected her. Then she just wigged out on me and coped an attitude. I couldn't help myself. I am either the nicest person in the world, or the biggest bitch, depending on the other person's attitude. If you deserve my bitchiness, you will get it.
So persued a short arguement, where I made her look like an idiot. It almost got out of hand. I had to leave K's apartment out of respect for her. But I wanted her to eat my fist. That's how close it came.
Then last night, I saw a bunch of K's friends sitting on the steps outside. I joined them smoking. I guess this bitch decided that no one is going to come into the apartment, and locked everyone out. Then she called K and told her everyone outside is talking shit about her. I'll call one of the guys C. C went to the door and started yelling at her to let him in. His girlfriend's little girl was in there, and his pregnant girlfriend was outside. There was no way he was going to let her keep them outside.
This bitch opened the door, spit at him, and then slammed the door as fast as she could. All I could do was stare in shock. Who the fuck is this woman to tell K's friends if they can come in or not? If I was C, I would have busted the door down, and taught that little girl some respect. Oh just to let you know, K was gone all night.
I think the drama lama has struck...
So I have a neighbor friend. Every one in the world comes over, it seems. Lately though, she has been having someone she just met staying with her. I really don't care who comes over at her house. Let's face it, it doesn't effect me.
Until recently that is. This bitch has an attitude. Last weekend I went to chill with my neighbor and another friend. I was just minding my own buisness, having a good time. This bitch tells me to leave while standing behind my back. Like if she was scared of me right? Well, I turned around and slammed her. I told her that it wasn't her apartment, and if my neighbor, let's call her K, wanted me to leave, that's when I'll leave. She got pissed off and stormed off. I didn't think anything of it.
The other day, I went over there to smoke a cig with K. The bitch was there. They were watching Marmaduke. Which I have to say is a pretty cute movie. Anyways, she tried claiming that Great Danes only live for five years. I politely corrected her. Then she just wigged out on me and coped an attitude. I couldn't help myself. I am either the nicest person in the world, or the biggest bitch, depending on the other person's attitude. If you deserve my bitchiness, you will get it.
So persued a short arguement, where I made her look like an idiot. It almost got out of hand. I had to leave K's apartment out of respect for her. But I wanted her to eat my fist. That's how close it came.
Then last night, I saw a bunch of K's friends sitting on the steps outside. I joined them smoking. I guess this bitch decided that no one is going to come into the apartment, and locked everyone out. Then she called K and told her everyone outside is talking shit about her. I'll call one of the guys C. C went to the door and started yelling at her to let him in. His girlfriend's little girl was in there, and his pregnant girlfriend was outside. There was no way he was going to let her keep them outside.
This bitch opened the door, spit at him, and then slammed the door as fast as she could. All I could do was stare in shock. Who the fuck is this woman to tell K's friends if they can come in or not? If I was C, I would have busted the door down, and taught that little girl some respect. Oh just to let you know, K was gone all night.
I think the drama lama has struck...
Monday, May 2, 2011
WOW
I decided to look up a well known church that pickets military funerals. Needless to say, I was disgusted. They actually have a schedule when they are going to picket, and where. All I had to say was wow. The lies that come out of these people's mouths are ludicrous. What's more ludicrous is the fact that they use the rights that we military people fought, and died for, to do this. It's hypocritical. I would love for them to go live in the Middle East, or North Korea. Or better yet, China. Let's see how far they would go there. I bet not far. Anyways, here is just one sample of what they had to say. Keep in mind, that they have plans to picket Arlington National Cemetery this month
WBC to picket doomed america's worship of the dead "heros." We have experience with the military in this country. They are filthy, vile, self-worshipping beasts. All bad all the time. It is a lie that the military of this country is filled with brave, self-sacrificing patriots. They are incompetent cowards and bullies. Perverts of every sort. They fight for the perverts of this nation to murder their babies, to "marry" their fag partners, and to commit whoredoms & abominations of every kind. The Lord no longer builds the american house: nor does the Lord watch over and protect America. (Psalm 127:1) The soldiers are dying for the sins of this nation. You have made God your enemy and He, Himself is fighting america.
I have a couple of things to say about this one statement. 1. We are not "filthy, vile, self-worshipping beasts." Do you want to do the job that every military member has done past and present? Are you willing to die for your country? Any one who signs a contract that is payable up to that person's life is the opposite of what you condemn us for.
The same goes for when you claim that we are not brave, or self-sacrificing patriots. People have died for your right to say that, it is your right to say what you say. You know why? Because the military bought that freedom in blood. The freedom that you so love to use against us.
2. They are incompetent cowards and bullies. Perverts of every sort. They fight for the perverts of this nation to murder their babies, to "marry" their fag partners, and to commit whoredoms & abominations of every kind. Wow. You know who else they fight for? YOU! To sit there and claim that we use that freedom against you is total BS. Again, go to another country. Protest against them, and see how far it gets you. Probably not a great ending.
3. The Lord no longer builds the american house: nor does the Lord watch over and protect America. (Psalm 127:1) The soldiers are dying for the sins of this nation. You have made God your enemy and He, Himself is fighting america. Okay, if God is not with us, and you sincerely believe that this nation is doomed, then what the hell are you doing here? Aren't you an American? So wouldn't that mean you are doomed? And to throw a Bible verse against us is moronic. Jesus never came down here to preach hate, to rally against your fellow person. No, he taught love, and peace. If anyone is doomed to hell, it is YOU, and not us.
Here is the website if you want to check it out.
http://www.godhatesfags.com/schedule.html
WBC to picket doomed america's worship of the dead "heros." We have experience with the military in this country. They are filthy, vile, self-worshipping beasts. All bad all the time. It is a lie that the military of this country is filled with brave, self-sacrificing patriots. They are incompetent cowards and bullies. Perverts of every sort. They fight for the perverts of this nation to murder their babies, to "marry" their fag partners, and to commit whoredoms & abominations of every kind. The Lord no longer builds the american house: nor does the Lord watch over and protect America. (Psalm 127:1) The soldiers are dying for the sins of this nation. You have made God your enemy and He, Himself is fighting america.
I have a couple of things to say about this one statement. 1. We are not "filthy, vile, self-worshipping beasts." Do you want to do the job that every military member has done past and present? Are you willing to die for your country? Any one who signs a contract that is payable up to that person's life is the opposite of what you condemn us for.
The same goes for when you claim that we are not brave, or self-sacrificing patriots. People have died for your right to say that, it is your right to say what you say. You know why? Because the military bought that freedom in blood. The freedom that you so love to use against us.
2. They are incompetent cowards and bullies. Perverts of every sort. They fight for the perverts of this nation to murder their babies, to "marry" their fag partners, and to commit whoredoms & abominations of every kind. Wow. You know who else they fight for? YOU! To sit there and claim that we use that freedom against you is total BS. Again, go to another country. Protest against them, and see how far it gets you. Probably not a great ending.
3. The Lord no longer builds the american house: nor does the Lord watch over and protect America. (Psalm 127:1) The soldiers are dying for the sins of this nation. You have made God your enemy and He, Himself is fighting america. Okay, if God is not with us, and you sincerely believe that this nation is doomed, then what the hell are you doing here? Aren't you an American? So wouldn't that mean you are doomed? And to throw a Bible verse against us is moronic. Jesus never came down here to preach hate, to rally against your fellow person. No, he taught love, and peace. If anyone is doomed to hell, it is YOU, and not us.
Here is the website if you want to check it out.
http://www.godhatesfags.com/schedule.html
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Underweight and Me
About three months ago I went to the doctor for a routine check up. I really don't know the true reason why I went. I got some birth control out of the deal, but the main reason is forgotten. Any ways, I made mention of my weight to the doctor. I knew, just by looking at myself, that I was under weight. Oh wait I remember now, I had an ear infection! Any ways, I was concerned about my weight.
Ever since having Donnie, I lost weight like there was no tomorrow. In two weeks I dropped my baby weight. At first, I wasn't concerned about it. Hell, I was excited about it. How many women do you know that can drop that much weight in that little bit of time? Well, I didn't stop loosing weight.
And there about half way through, I got tired of eating. I was forcing myself to eat so much to try and keep my weight, that I got disgusted with eating. And it's not only that, but I also lost my appetite. I still don't know how that happened. It might be from me getting sick of eating so much. I don't know.
My sister clued me in on me being skin and bones. Then one of my friends came over and remarked about how sickly thin I looked. So naturally I brought it up with the doctor. I found out I lost fourteen pounds in six months. I went from 108 to a low 94 with jeans on.
My husband got tired of me asking him all the time if I looked like I was loosing or gaining weight. I got infatuated, and worried, about how thin I looked. He went out and bought me a scale to see how much weight I lost or gained. When I first got on it, I was disappointed. I took of my jeans and shirt, got on the scale, and I was only 95 pounds and some ounces. The next day, I got on the scale with my jeans on, not thinking about it, and it read that I was 97 pounds.
This heartened me a little bit. If I weigh 97 pounds with my jeans on, and 95 without them, then I was at least 92 to 91 pounds when they weighed me. Probably 90 pounds because I had my shoes on too. So it looks like I am on the gaining end of my weight. Which is a good thing!
My secret? I didn't want to try and gorge myself on food like I did before. So I now eat small meals four times a day. I mean small like a bowl of cereal for breakfast, a sandwich for lunch, some fruit in the in between meal if I have any, and my regular intake at dinner. Which before was a couple of bites of every thing on my plate. Now it went up to half a plate of food. Still not good, but making progress.
Also, I am an anemic. Which means my body is lacking in red blood cells and iron. I found out if I ate things with iron in it and took my iron medication, I am not as tired as I used to be. My birth control also has iron in it too, so I am also getting it that way.
Today I took a nap after picking my husband up. This was the first time in several days. But I have been going to bed later at night and waking up early in the morning time. I dreamed that I died. Not oh I'm dead kind of dream, no the actual process of dying. It got me a little worried because I know that there is health risks associated with being under weight.
I looked them up. One is anemia, which I already am. Then there's low blood pressure, osteoporosis, that's bone loss for you, a low immune system, and for women, an irrigular menstrual cycle.
I am just worried that my weight will take another dip, but more dangerous next time. I hate being this skinny. At least you can't see my ribs as much now as before. It's not like I intentionally wanted to loose weight. I also know that people look at me and think that I am anorexic, but that's not true. In a week, I will make another blog and keep track of my weight gain. I am just really worried.
Ever since having Donnie, I lost weight like there was no tomorrow. In two weeks I dropped my baby weight. At first, I wasn't concerned about it. Hell, I was excited about it. How many women do you know that can drop that much weight in that little bit of time? Well, I didn't stop loosing weight.
And there about half way through, I got tired of eating. I was forcing myself to eat so much to try and keep my weight, that I got disgusted with eating. And it's not only that, but I also lost my appetite. I still don't know how that happened. It might be from me getting sick of eating so much. I don't know.
My sister clued me in on me being skin and bones. Then one of my friends came over and remarked about how sickly thin I looked. So naturally I brought it up with the doctor. I found out I lost fourteen pounds in six months. I went from 108 to a low 94 with jeans on.
My husband got tired of me asking him all the time if I looked like I was loosing or gaining weight. I got infatuated, and worried, about how thin I looked. He went out and bought me a scale to see how much weight I lost or gained. When I first got on it, I was disappointed. I took of my jeans and shirt, got on the scale, and I was only 95 pounds and some ounces. The next day, I got on the scale with my jeans on, not thinking about it, and it read that I was 97 pounds.
This heartened me a little bit. If I weigh 97 pounds with my jeans on, and 95 without them, then I was at least 92 to 91 pounds when they weighed me. Probably 90 pounds because I had my shoes on too. So it looks like I am on the gaining end of my weight. Which is a good thing!
My secret? I didn't want to try and gorge myself on food like I did before. So I now eat small meals four times a day. I mean small like a bowl of cereal for breakfast, a sandwich for lunch, some fruit in the in between meal if I have any, and my regular intake at dinner. Which before was a couple of bites of every thing on my plate. Now it went up to half a plate of food. Still not good, but making progress.
Also, I am an anemic. Which means my body is lacking in red blood cells and iron. I found out if I ate things with iron in it and took my iron medication, I am not as tired as I used to be. My birth control also has iron in it too, so I am also getting it that way.
Today I took a nap after picking my husband up. This was the first time in several days. But I have been going to bed later at night and waking up early in the morning time. I dreamed that I died. Not oh I'm dead kind of dream, no the actual process of dying. It got me a little worried because I know that there is health risks associated with being under weight.
I looked them up. One is anemia, which I already am. Then there's low blood pressure, osteoporosis, that's bone loss for you, a low immune system, and for women, an irrigular menstrual cycle.
I am just worried that my weight will take another dip, but more dangerous next time. I hate being this skinny. At least you can't see my ribs as much now as before. It's not like I intentionally wanted to loose weight. I also know that people look at me and think that I am anorexic, but that's not true. In a week, I will make another blog and keep track of my weight gain. I am just really worried.
Friday, April 8, 2011
Shutdown= Fogret your paychecks!
I know most of you guys already know what's going on. I hope everyone of you knows. But I'll simplify for you. Today the government decided it's a great day for a shut down. Today 800,000 federal employees will be furloughed and not be paid.
Today, my husband along with every other person in the military got paid up to today. Meaning half their paychecks and told that they might not get paid next month. Today, the military got royally screwed. While Congress and all of them sit back still getting paid, we will have no money to feed our one year old. Let alone pay our bills.
Now rightfully if a service member doesn't get paid, they can walk away from their obligations hands down. It's a breach in contract. But you know what our great president did? He is making them still come into work. Oh and the three wars we are in? Yeah, we are still going to be in them too.
If it gets really bad, and we don't get paid next month, I am taking my child to Oklahoma, where I know he will be fed. My question is this, what will happen to families that don't have anywhere to turn? What are they going to do? You can guarantee that they will still have to pay their bills. So congratulations Congress, you just made a lot of people homeless, and hungry. Over what? The fact that you guys can't decide on a budget plan?
Oh, but let's not forget everyone else that works for the government that won't get paid either. Way to go. You think that people want to work for free? Especially if the government that has done this doesn't get to hurt along with everyone else?
No, fuck that. They should really think about who they are hurting. You trained the military to kill, you bastards. And now you cut those killer's paychecks and possibly stopped it? Oh you just opened up a can of worms that I think you won't know what to do with!
Today, my husband along with every other person in the military got paid up to today. Meaning half their paychecks and told that they might not get paid next month. Today, the military got royally screwed. While Congress and all of them sit back still getting paid, we will have no money to feed our one year old. Let alone pay our bills.
Now rightfully if a service member doesn't get paid, they can walk away from their obligations hands down. It's a breach in contract. But you know what our great president did? He is making them still come into work. Oh and the three wars we are in? Yeah, we are still going to be in them too.
If it gets really bad, and we don't get paid next month, I am taking my child to Oklahoma, where I know he will be fed. My question is this, what will happen to families that don't have anywhere to turn? What are they going to do? You can guarantee that they will still have to pay their bills. So congratulations Congress, you just made a lot of people homeless, and hungry. Over what? The fact that you guys can't decide on a budget plan?
Oh, but let's not forget everyone else that works for the government that won't get paid either. Way to go. You think that people want to work for free? Especially if the government that has done this doesn't get to hurt along with everyone else?
No, fuck that. They should really think about who they are hurting. You trained the military to kill, you bastards. And now you cut those killer's paychecks and possibly stopped it? Oh you just opened up a can of worms that I think you won't know what to do with!
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